Ok, Now...

I watch a lot of daytime court TV shows.

You know: Judge Judy, People's Court, Divorce Court

Well, on Divorce Court she always asks why the couple is getting a divorce.

And the woman always mentions how her husband always leaves the toilet seat up.
...and how she falls in the toilet in the middle of the night.

As a daughter, friend, and wife...
let me just tell you that I've walked in to the bathroom hundreds of times to find that someone left the seat up.

And in my 23 years (and about 21 of using the toilet), I have never fallen into the toilet.

NEVER.

So tell me.... does this actually happen?
Do some women fall in toilets?

I Can Hardly Wait.!

Are you as excited as I am?????

Too Much TV?

I'm expecting an unproductive Fall. Let me tell you why:

Not only do I already have shows that I am addicted to:

• Gossip Girl
• Bones
  
• The Hills
• 30 Rock
• The Office

But the stupid CW is probably going to add a few more to that list..... have you seen previews for Melrose Place & The Beautiful Life? I feel like I'm going to be watching a ton of TV.

Ok, so that's only 5.5 hours of regular TV, but we all know that it's going to lead to me watching the news or whatever syndicated shows are on before and after.

So there you have it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

A Theory

Many of you know that I no longer have cable. Well, that leaves me with three channels: NBC, ABC, CBS. I know, right? How do I even survive?!

Once upon a time I had a show on ABC. Remember a little show that got "postponed indefinitely" called Dirty Sexy Money? Apparently its ratings weren't high enough or some crap like that. They essentially canceled it... although they won't call it that. Instead, they left it on a cliffhanger and called in "postponed." Why? Because they had some awesome, brand new mid-season pilots to pick up. Awesome shows like "In the Motherhood," "Surviving Suburbia," and a show all about a man who thinks he's Cupid. Because clearly these will last an entire season and give ABC the ratings boost they're seeking--NOT.

But I think that I have discovered ABC's strategy... they lure us in with promising previews for new shows... and who doesn't tune in to see if this new show will be their immediate favorite? Who doesn't want to say that they watched it from the beginning and liked it before it was "cool"? My theory is that ABC is going to air new tv shows regularly to keep people interested. It's never going to be the same lineup... so that people continue to watch for the next big thing.

You don't fool me ABC... and it's not going to work forever.

Bring back Dirty Sexy Money!

F-R-E-E, That Spells... Taxes & Fees?

Picture this: Friday early-evening. I'm bored. I've already cleaned everything in my apartment and it's too soon to start thinking about next week's homework. I turned on the TV; HGTV, of course. House Hunters is ending and up next is the HGTV Dream Home 2009 Special. Well, let me tell you... I think it was made especially for me this year. I got online and entered only to find out that I could enter once-a-day! I was a little bummed because I only found out for the last 6 days about a contest that lasted 6 weeks. That means that some people have much higher chance of winning. Then I forgot to enter for a few days... which means that my name is only in the hat 4 times (I'll go ahead and attempt to do the math... some people are in there up to 42 times). As I was entering for the last time, I decided to read the rules:

Resident of the United States
Check!
At least 21 as of 1/1/09
Check! +1!
Blah, blah, blah...
Grand Prize worth $2,052,450
Whoa!
Home worth $1.8mil
Car worth $49k
Home Furnishings worth $200k
Blah, blah, blah...
GRAND PRIZE RECIPIENT RESPONSIBLE FOR FEES ASSOCIATED WITH PROPERTY TAXES, TITLE INSURANCE, CLOSING COSTS, ETC.
GRAND PRIZE RECIPIENT RESPONSIBLE FOR 1099 TAX FORM, WHICH WILL BE PROVIDED.
GRAND PRIZE RECIPIENT RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL FEES NOT EXPRESSLY IDENTIFIED ABOVE.

I then came to this disappointing realization:
Can I even afford to win this contest??

Listen Up, Ladies!

I've always been a firm believer in confidence. In high school I went shopping with my friend Abby and I bought a rockin' pair of sunglasses. I got home and showed them to my mom and the first thing she said was, "those are hideous." Thanks, Mom! I refused to believe her. I wore those sunglasses everywhere and received compliments from everyone! You want to know why? Because I wore them like they were the coolest sunglasses in the world... and suddenly... they were cool.

I tried this out with my big move to law school. A new group of people. A new chance to make a first impression. Usually I would just sit there quietly and wait for people to approach me. Not this time. I marched in with a smile on my face and said "hi!" to everyone I saw. I pretended that I was cool (and occasionally told people that I was) and suddenly, they accepted me as "cool."

Amazing how that works, huh? This morning as I was going through the blogs that I read daily, it hit me for the first time that this idea can also work in reverse. Females are all-too-often quick to point out their flaws. I notice myself doing this a lot. If I think I look gross, I'm really quick to tell people so that they know that I know. I'm not fishing for compliments, but rather letting people know that I am well aware of my shortcomings.

Which leads me to this link. Think about it. How many times have you had this conversation:

A: You look nice today!
YOU: Ugh. I feel so fat!

So, ladies... starting today, I'm going to stop announcing the things that I don't like about myself. Who's with me?? It's time to walk into the room like you own it. A wise Anna Stern once said, "Confidence, Cohen... Confidence!" And I think the same applies to you!

An Open Letter

Dear Bradley,

Let's chat. We get it. You have perfected the "hott jerk." My fear is that you have been typecast, my friend. Congratulations... your performances have made me root against you. And once upon a time, I would have defended you to the death. Oh yes, I remember. I remember Will Tippin, the dorky, sweet, sympathetic investigative journalist. I remember how I rooted for him every week. I wanted him to know the truth and most importantly, I wanted him to get the girl. Even after he was written off the show, I prayed that he would mysteriously reappear and sweep Sydney Bristow off of her feet; that she would decide that Michael Vaughn was a giant waste of her time and that Will Tippin was her soul mate. You can do the sweet, heartthrob leading man, Bradley Cooper... and I would like to see it again.

Love,
Kathleen

Shut Up!

We haven't chatted about GG lately, have we? Wow. This season started off phenomenally, then got so-so, but lucky for us, it's back to awesome! And just when I thought life couldn't get any better, I saw that Bravo (my recent obsession and newest source for trashy TV) is making a REALITY SHOW based off of it! Add that to RHWOC, Millionaire Matchmaker, and constant ANTM marathons and getting rid of my cable in a month is really starting to sound like a bad idea...

A Moral Dilemma.

First and foremost, Holly just informed me that today is:

National Carbonated Beverage with Caffeine Day!

So, go out there and enjoy your holiday! I personally celebrate this holiday every day of my life... but perhaps today I'll have an extra DC. Ooh, maybe I'll treat myself to McDonald's!
NOTE: Tomorrow is National Peanut Butter Fudge Day. Plan accordingly.

Ok, on to my moral dilemma. See, here's the thing. A few months ago, I broke up with MTV. We haven't spoken since. It's been a surprisingly clean break-up. We've been respectful of each other's boundaries... until now. I have just been informed by a mutual friend that MTV will be airing a 90 minute Britney Spears documentary next week. Tricky, tricky, MTV. Please refrain from putting Brit Brit in the middle of our problems. I understand that this has been difficult for you. I occasionally miss you, too... but you cannot trick me into coming back to you. We both know that this break-up has been for the best.

Baseball is Boring.

Yup. I said it. I don't feel bad and I won't take it back. I already know what you're thinking:

"But Kathleen, it's October! It's the World Series!"

Umm... ok. Do they change the rules of baseball in October? Does it suddenly become an exciting sport during the World Series? No? I didn't think so.

And now it's interfering with my regularly scheduled television. I want Bones!

Hello, Love!

A few weeks ago, I was talking on the phone with my mom when she said, "Ok, I have to go. Dirty Sexy Money is on." And I said, "What?" She said, "Oh, it's so good, Neen! You should watch it!" So the other night after reading Contracts for 3.5 hours, I decided that I would give it a try. It was then that I was introduced to DSM's very own "Chuck Bass." Meet Jeremy Darling. Kinda crazy; kinda scummy; totally hott. Nice to meet you, Jeremy. We'll be spending a lot of time together.

Girls, Girls! You're Both Pretty!

So, apparently Time Warner Cable and the CW are in a fight. Due to this fight, I am currently without the CW for the foreseeable future. Not cool. Not cool at all. What will I do without Gossip Girl? Well, the Time Warner customer service rep had a splendid idea! This is a pretty-close-to-accurate transcript of a call that Megan made to ask about the problem:

MEGAN: Hi, ummm... has the channel for the CW changed? I can't find it.
TW CSR: Time Warner is currently in negotiations with the CW. That channel will not be on our cable until the negotiations are finished.
MEGAN: Will I have the CW back by 8pm tonight?
TW CSR: No, ma'am.
MEGAN: What am I supposed to do about Gossip Girl?
TW CSR: Well, ma'am, we did give you Starz for Kids. That's a premium channel that you are getting for free during negotiations.
MEGAN: Starz for Kids?
TW CSR: Yes, ma'am.
MEGAN: I am 23 years old. Why in the hell would I want Starz for Kids?
TW CSR: They show many popular movies.
MEGAN: Riiiiiiight.

Luckily, I have found no indication online that there was a new episode of Gossip Girl on last week. I just want to tell TW & CW, "Girls, girls! You're both pretty! Let's solve this little tiff so we can all watch GG!"

Umm....

Ok, a few things this lovely Sabbath morning. This post might actually break my "Never too long. Always one subject" rules. Hey, I made them, so I can break them, I guess?

1. I've seen some funny videos on Perez lately. This one made me laugh because it's just a little awkward. Don't get me wrong... I love Martha Stewart and I love LUDA!, but I'm just not so sure that I ever expected to see them... together? Watch and enjoy.

A few questions:

• Why is Luda on the Martha Stewart show?
• Oragami? Do people actually do that for real? Are they 5th grade girls?
• Wait... Luda on Martha Stewart? Really?
  

2. While walking down a rather famous road in search of food, a few funny things happened.
First:

HOMELESS DUDE (HD): That's a nice tie, brotha!
BOY: Thanks!
HD: Can I touch it? What's that made of?
BOY: Umm.. sure. It's just a tie.
HD: It's nice. How are you, young lady?
ME: I'm great! How are you?
HD: I'm great, too! I like your skirt!
ME: Thanks!
HD: You wear it well!
ME: ...thank you!

Second: The Obama camp is shamelessly trying to gather votes with concerts instead of issues. Are you shocked? I was! So yesterday they had a huge voter registration drive and were reminding everyone that Bruce Springsteen is playing on campus today. My friend and I walked up and down the Obama-ist part of the street and did not get stopped once or asked if we were registered to vote.

BOY: Did you notice that we have not been asked if we're registered to vote?
GIRL: Yes!
BOY: Do you know why?
GIRL: Do we look like we would vote for Obama? Really?
BOY: EXACTLY!

I hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend! I hope you're enjoying Conference! XOXO

Spotted!

A little story. My freshman year in high school, I had this friend. We'll call him "K." K and I had a class together all year. I never viewed him as more than a classmate/friend. The first day of sophomore year, I noticed something different. K was hott! He seriously got so hott over the summer! I just couldn't put my finger on the reason. (About 2 weeks into the year, I noticed that he got his braces off, but that's irrelevant to this story, really.)

Anyway, the way I felt about K then is the way that I feel about Nate Archibald now. I don't know what he did, but he got hott over the summer! Welcome back to school, Nate. It's going to be a fabulous year!

PS-GG this week was fab! I can hardly wait for next week!

So Little Time!

I feel like I have so much to discuss and in so little time! This law school thing is really getting in the way of my life. Too bad I love it, huh?

First--My birthday occurred as scheduled, despite my efforts to cancel it. It really was a great day, though! There is no other way that I would want to celebrate this non-milestone than to get sushi with a few of my besties followed by an after-party of watching the RNC and eating chips and dip. This was one hell of a birthday! Thanks to all involved! XOXO

Second--My Obama post the other day got 30 hits!! 17 of those came from Chris & Val's blog alone! Thanks to everyone who has me linked to their blog. If you have me linked and I have not yet linked you, let me know!!

Third--Gossip Girl. Really, if you saw it, I don't have to say anymore--except that I will say more... and you will like it. I decided that I love little Jenny Humphrey's hair. I tried to find a picture but failed. When my hair grows out from this awful boy cut, I am totally tracking down a picture of her to take in to my next appointment! (Hopefully by Thanksgiving if my vitamins work the way they're supposed to!) Nate is hott, Chuck is fabulously slimy, Serena & Dan aren't going to make it, Blair is gorgeous and I want to be her, and I think Erik should stop being gay and date Jenny. Can't wait for next week! Moving on...

Fourth--The Hills. Lauren-that was the most awkward break-up. Ever. Spencer-I want to make you un-on my TV. Stephanie-there is a huge difference between a hamster and a guinea pig. Like, a species. Something doesn't start out as a hamster and then become a guinea pig. I did laugh for a few minutes, though.

Fifth--(I had to spell check fifth... but I did spell it right on my first try!)--Bones tonight. 2 hour season premiere. I don't know how I'll deal without Zack-a-roni, but I am still pretty pumped!

Have a good night, everybody!! XOXO

Happy Labor Day!

I hope that you have a fabulous day of nothing planned! (I wish I could say the same about myself).

Ooh, enjoy GG tonight! It should be ScAnDaLoUs!! Be prepared to discuss tomorrow.

Happy Birthday to ME!

No, silly! Today is not my birthday. I will be the big 2-2 on September 2. I will receive the best birthday present any of us can ask for... well, besides tons of money so I don't have to take out student loans. This is a close second... more like a first and a half.

Perez Hilton is reporting that 90210 starts on my birthday! Not only is that the first night... but we get TWO HOURS! I am just thrilled!

And as a birthday-eve present, Gossip Girl is returning on September 1! Oh, thanks, CW! I didn't know you cared so much!! This is going to be the best birthday EVER!

P is for Product Placement.

Sesame Street was brought to us by the letter "P" yesterday. Marlee and I watched as Cookie Monster gathered things that started with the letter... then we watched as a man only ordered things that began with "P" from Hooper's Store. A peanut butter sandwich on pumpernickel bread with potatoes and pineapple for lunch sounds disgusting, but whatever. All of the items in the store were fake brands... except for the Pampers Cruisers that stayed in the shot the entire scene. When they say that it was brought to us by the letter "P," did they really mean that it was brought to us by Pampers?

RIP Zack-a-roni!

I've been meaning to blog about this for some time, but I've been avoiding it... thinking that if I didn't acknowledge it, it would all go away. Unfortunately, on the season finale of Bones, we lost a key character.... Dr. Zack Addy. It came as a total surprise! I originally thought that Sweets was Gormagon's apprentice... and I hoped it wasn't so! Then when it turned out that it was Zack, I wished it was Sweets! I was devastated! I've grown attached to him over the years. I cried. So, now Zack Addy has been banished to a mental hospital for the rest of his life. One can only hope that he will guest star in future episodes. I think they're going to bring in the black kid that was almost hired when Zack finished his internship right before receiving his PhD. That's my prediction. Goodness... this is even more depressing than when we found out he's gay in real life!! Farewell, Eric Millegan. I wish you all the best (and I really hope that you have a fabulous pilot in the works because that's the only acceptable reason for leaving.)!!

XOXO

Baby Little J?

I was babysitting yesterday and the little boy wanted to watch a movie. He picked out "The Grinch" (the one with Jim Carey). Then I noticed this...

Is that you, Little J? Crazy to think that movie is that old... but then as I was looking for pictures, I read that she's not even 15 yet!