I'm Lame.

I know, I know... I've been slacking!

I don't usually like excuses.... but it is spring break... and I don't have cable.

So school and TV... those seem to be my main topics. Lately I've been catching up on "The Hills," but no one wants to hear my insight about episodes that aired 5 months ago. The new season starts Monday... and I do have access to the internet.

I have some funny stories... but you'll have to check back in about 4 months before I can post them.

I mean, they're that good. They will be worth the wait, I promise.

Hopefully I'll have some other funny adventures to share soon.

School does start again in 2 days. (Uck!)

XOXO

Oh, Spencer!

So, I didn't even check what the survey said, and I started catching up on The Hills this afternoon. I realized that it's spring break... and I no longer have cable... and I had nothing better to do (or nothing that I felt like doing)... don't judge me.

I'm all the way to episode 10 (I started at 4) and I know this is old news (since it really aired in October... but I was boycotting, remember?), but Spencer Pratt and his creepy, flesh-colored beard have done it again. Let me set the scene for those of you who may not watch trashy television: Spencer & Heidi have been together for a while and Spencer is totally controlling. Heidi no longer has friends. Spencer especially hates Heidi's old bestie, Lauren. Heidi's sister Holly moved to town and is trying to patch things between Heidi and Lauren. Holly convinces Heidi to write Lauren a letter, and Spencer finds out that she did. Spencer calls his sister to meet him at a coffee shop... his new "office" since Holly is staying on their couch... although I don't know what he does all day. So... here's the convo Spencer and Stephanie have at the coffee shop:

SPENCER: Oh, and then Holly must have talked Heidi into writing LC some apology letter like 'let's make peace.'
STEPHANIE: What'd the letter say?
SPENCER: I didn't know about it. I didn't even get to read it.... or.... spell-check it...
STEPHANIE: Did she tell you?
SPENCER: No, this is the first secret she's kept from me. Holly is really throwing some wrenches in this machine.

How dare she! She didn't even ask him to spell-check it? How will this relationship last if Heidi is just going around... spelling things on her own??

That Poor Family!

Somehow, Steve and I ended up watching a bunch of news bloopers on YouTube the other night. We found this. It's funny. Enjoy!

Sad.

For the last week or so, I've held my breath every time I turn on the TV. I knew that my time with cable was coming to an end.

Well, this morning it finally happened. I turned on the TV... and... fuzz. Just fuzz.

Thanks to modern technology, I'll be able to watch most of my shows online at a later date on wireless internet I will be "borrowing" from my neighbors. There are a few shows, however, that I will no longer be able to watch... because I never (and would never) intentionally seek them out. Here is a short list of guilty pleasures that I will no longer be watching:

HA!

Let's Count.

ZERO

Acceptable, modest wedding dresses I expect to find tomorrow.

ONE

Days that I have left with cable.

TWO

Diet Cokes that I drink before 10am.

THREE

Pontiac caps missing from my tires.

FOUR

Times I attempted to turn on my closet light after discovering the light bulb is burnt out.

FIVE

TV shows that I am currently following.

SIX

(almost) Months since I met Steve.

SEVEN

The time that I am involuntarily woken up every morning.

EIGHT

Words I understood in my Contracts class today.

NINE

Hours a week that I get paid to sit in the computer lab.

TEN

Minutes it takes me to drive to school at 80mph.

An Unoriginal Thought.

One of many, I assure you. I have officially decided to put my paper (the one that I should have started 6 weeks ago) away for the night. I was at a point where I was really getting a good flow, and then I paused to print my outline and the fatigue set in. So, with 32.5 hours until due date, the substance of my paper is still in 4 pages of bullet points.

I have realized why some assignments are so difficult. I do not like writing when I am being forced to present an original argument. To be honest, I probably don't have too many original thoughts. I'm not an original person... someone surely has had every thought that runs through my head before I have. That was why my last semester of undergrad was so difficult. I was expected to write 20 pages full of original thoughts and new perspectives. I was supposed to declare a topic for my capstone paper in January... I didn't have a topic until mid-March. I was supposed to have an outline by mid-March... I didn't turn mine in until the beginning of April. And alas, my paper was turned in exactly when it was due... and not a minute earlier.

And why did it take me so long to come up with decently-original thoughts of my own? Because it took a long time for me to find a topic that made me want to have original thoughts. I skated past that class with a B+... feeling fantastic about life. I probably only passed because my professor had such an apathetic attitude toward grading.

And in 32.5 hours, I will turn in yet another paper that I put off until the last minute... because I assure you, a Motion in Opposition to Defendant's Motion to Suppress Evidence is not what drives me to have original thoughts.

Procrastination...

Add another item to the list of things I didn't even know I took for granted:

Hot Water

Because now we mysteriously have none. Friday it was there and then magically, Saturday it was not. And Sunday it was not. I thought I was brave enough to take a cold shower... turns out I'm not. Hopefully we'll find someone who can figure this out tomorrow (and by "we," I mean my roommate because I have tons of school work to do in the next 4 days). Taking a sponge bath and then washing my hair in the sink was no fun... no fun at all.

Oops!

Last year, I went on a series of terrible dates with a guy who will remain nameless. Honestly, I shouldn't have gone on any of them, but we had basketball tickets for a month later, so I kind of felt obligated. Our personalities didn't mesh well--I'll leave it at that in case he happens to stumble upon my blog. After the basketball game, he would call every few weeks to suggest dinner. I would tell him I was busy and he would go away for a few more weeks.

Over Easter weekend, I had bronchitis. He called at 6pm on a Friday evening and wanted to get dinner. I told him that I was not feeling well and he responded, "so not tonight?" I told him I was staying in for the evening (and I was slightly offended that he would call so late just assuming I didn't already have other plans). He called again the very next night. I politely declined his request yet again telling him that I had a very high fever and was just going to sleep it off. I really was sick, and ended up in the urgent care twice that week and missed an entire week of school.

I didn't hear from him again until mid-summer. He called one night while I was leaving work at the conversation went:

HIM: Hey! Do you want to go get dinner tonight?
ME: That would be difficult. I'm in AZ.
HIM: Oh... really? For vacation or what?
ME: No, I'm here for the summer.
HIM: Oh, ok. We'll definitely have to get together for dinner in the fall!
ME: I won't be back in the fall... I graduated.
HIM: WHAT?? You didn't tell me you were graduating!! Congrats!
ME: I'm pretty sure I mentioned that.
HIM: Well, guess it shows how much I listened, huh?
ME: Exactly........

So then a few weeks ago I entertained one of my friend's dates while he was at a church meeting and we were talking about dating disasters. Our time together would not have been complete without mention of the Suns v. Jazz Debacle of '08. So at the end I accidentally said his name.... and she is the friend-of-a-friend of his. Lucky me! It didn't even hit me that she would say anything until I got this text message on Wednesday:

"Hey congrats on the engagement! I wanted to apologize... i guess you thought i was rude and obnoxious. i didn't mean to be. good luck with everything!"

And I was also deleted as a Facebook friend! Could this be it?? Am I finally done??

Chet + Erin= (I Hope) Love

If I had it my way, my sister would marry Chet from Real World Brooklyn. Here are just a few reasons:

1. Chet is Mormon... so is my sister. Not that only being Mormon makes him perfect... because I know a lot of "Mormons," but he seems to be a really good, rule-following, upstanding young man. I could do without his little-bit-of-a potty mouth at times, but Erin won't mind that... actually, she would probably prefer it.

2. Chet is funny and likes to play practical jokes... and loves those jokes even more when they tick people off. Hello.... have you met Erin?

3. He likes Gossip Girl... which makes him ok in my book!

4. They live relatively close to each other (close enough to date & get married).

5. They would make cute children:

(How creepy am I?)

I think I have stated a pretty strong case. What do you think?

It Is So Glamorous!

So the other day I had a very detailed conversation with someone about Rich Girls, the first of MTV's crazy reality shows. Think Laguna Beach or The Hills, but richer, and funnier because it's ridiculously real. Rich Girls followed Ally Hilfiger (yes, Tommy's daughter) and Jaime Gleicher (heiress to the JanSport fortune) around NYC. They were dramatic. They were spoiled rotten, yet somehow just so darn lovable. I watched every episode loyally my junior year of high school. I think that was when I first decided that I love reality TV. I wanted to be their friend (ridiculous as they were).

Remember when Ally wanted to make a Mexican meal and asked the workers at Whole Foods what should go in it? Beans? Canned? What? Ok... what kind of cheese? Then she freaked out when she got home, "All I want is my onion and my tomato... in the beef... with the rice and the cheese and avocado and I want to eat it! I can't handle this knife right now!!!"

Remember when Jaime wanted to "lose it" before prom because it's so cliche to do it on prom night? And do you also remember that prom was a complete disaster?

Remember when they decided that people from the Midwest wore only cargo pants? They needed the extra pockets to carry stuff on the farm.

Remember when they went to London and Jaime felt left out? My mom always taught me that 3 girls in any situation is generally a bad idea. (Ironically, there are 3 girls in my family... but we are definitely the rule, not the exception!) Remember when Jaime's straightener fried Liz's hair. It was so Jaime's fault:

Good times, good times.