Trapped.

In case you were wondering, I solved my moral dilemma. I guess I knew what I had to do all along. I will not be watching the Britney Spears documentary that airs in 2 hours. Partly because of my ongoing boycott (it really has been almost 3 months without even cheating) and partly because I'm trapped in my room without tv access (don't ask). It's going to be painful (for both reasons), but I will get through it. I will be excited to read what my friends & favorite celebrity bloggers have to say about it... just not Perez Hilton.

Let me know what you think if you watch it! XOXO

Monday Homework

Ok, everyone. We're going to play a game. One of my friends had THIS civics quiz posted on her Facebook status. According to the website, the average score for Americans who took the test was 49%. The average score for college educators was 55%. The average score for US elected officials was 44%. It's a tough little quiz. So take it and post your score as a comment. I mean... only smart people read my blog, so I'm sure you'll do well! Hahaha!

Oh, not to brag, but I got an 87.8%*.

*I have a BA in Political Science. I think they would ask for it back if I didn't do well on this quiz.

Happy Guessing!

Oh... BTW...

Chris Brown might be my neighbor...
if not, then he is definitely his twin.
Just so you know.

Happy Almost-versary!

This weekend I almost got my 3-months sober certificate (keep reading). No, no... not from alcohol... it was almost 3 months from my last sip of regular soda. Thanks to McDonald's, I have to start over. I ordered a diet and they gave me regular Coke. It was gross, but I was thirsty.

Poor Babies.

I just read on People that Ashley Simpson & Pete Wentz named their kid Bronx Mowgli Wentz. I can hardly wait for Brooklyn Baloo Wentz... ooh how about Manhattan Shere Khan Wentz?

Dear Hollywood,

Check yourselves. Naming your child is no time to try and be funny/creative/different. Your children have ridiculous names. They are going to be on the Surreal Life before they're old enough for kindergarten.

XOXO

A Moral Dilemma.

First and foremost, Holly just informed me that today is:

National Carbonated Beverage with Caffeine Day!

So, go out there and enjoy your holiday! I personally celebrate this holiday every day of my life... but perhaps today I'll have an extra DC. Ooh, maybe I'll treat myself to McDonald's!
NOTE: Tomorrow is National Peanut Butter Fudge Day. Plan accordingly.

Ok, on to my moral dilemma. See, here's the thing. A few months ago, I broke up with MTV. We haven't spoken since. It's been a surprisingly clean break-up. We've been respectful of each other's boundaries... until now. I have just been informed by a mutual friend that MTV will be airing a 90 minute Britney Spears documentary next week. Tricky, tricky, MTV. Please refrain from putting Brit Brit in the middle of our problems. I understand that this has been difficult for you. I occasionally miss you, too... but you cannot trick me into coming back to you. We both know that this break-up has been for the best.

Warning!

Why You Should Never Try to Steal a Law Student's Laptop

by Dan Reilly, posted Nov 14th 2008 at 2:41PM

A thief learned the mistake of trying to steal a law student's laptop last week after becoming a punching bag for an Arizona State student he tried to rip off. Armed with a baseball bat, the intruder, Gabriel Saucedo, allegedly climbed through an open window into Alex Botsios' apartment, waking the student and threatening to smash his head in.

Botsios was willing to let Saucedo take his wallet and guitars. Then the robber made the mistake that ultimately landed him in the hospital -- he went for the laptop. According to Botsios, he said "Dude, no -- please, no! I have all my case notes...that's four months of work!" Saucedo, obviously underestimating the fury of an overstressed, overworked first-year, was unsympathetic. That's when Botsios could take no more.

Wrestling Saucdeo to the floor, Botsios separated the bat from the thief and repeatedly punched him in the face. When it was all over, police had to get Saucedo stitched up before charging him with armed robbery and kidnapping, while Botsios only suffered some scrapes and a bruised knuckle. Most importantly, at least to the student, is that his laptop, which he called "his baby," escaped unharmed. Next time, Saucedo might want to try robbing a third-year student, as they're generally more docile.

Thanks to Dom for sending me this story! Don't try to steal my laptop. You've been warned.

The Rules

I usually never post more than once a day, but I'm concerned that some have been forgetting the rules of the game lately. It's ok... I'll remind you.

There are only two:

1. Don't take anything that you read on my blog too seriously. I'm not a terribly serious person.
2. Never get offended. This is all in good fun. Try to chuckle a little when you read it... because I probably chuckled to myself a little as I wrote it.

I love your comments and opinions, I really do. Let's chill with the personal attacks. I want to be able to still allow "Anonymous" comments, but we've got to keep them positive or neutral. If you have to post something negative, please leave your name.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to shoot me an email at:
girlwithdirtyfeet@gmail.com

Thanks so much, friends! Happy Reading!!

Phenyl-what?

A typical afternoon of studying goes like this:

10 minutes of studying
Refill (water or Diet Coke)
10 minutes of studying
Potty Break
30 minutes of studying
Check Facebook
Refill (water or Diet Coke)
10 minutes of studying
Potty Break

You get the idea. It's not very productive. My excessive "study thirst" means that I am constantly either refilling my cup or using the bathroom. I just get soooo thirsty when I'm studying. It's a phenomenon that is worth a scientific study or two. Anyway, that's not my real story.

My real story is this: Diet Coke makes me happy. No, it's not just that I like it a lot. It actually makes me happy. Just now, on my walk back from the kitchen (where I grabbed a new can of DC), I read "Phenylketonurics: Contains Phenylalanine." What?! Are those even words? Yes, my friend. Wikipedia told me so! Phenylalanine is an amino acid found naturally in the breast milk of mammals and is rumored to have analgesic and antidepressant effects. It is manufactured for food and drink and also sold as a nutritional supplement.

There you have it.

Mmmbop? More Like "Eewbop!"

"Did you know that on cable, there is a channel that tells you what's on the other channels??"
-Kenneth Parcell

While checking the TV Guide channel instead of studying, I noticed that Hanson was playing! Hanson... the Mmmmmmmmmboppers, themselves! They're all grown up!

Confession: In 4th grade, I had a little crush on Taylor Hanson (nothing like my loves for Leo or JT in subsequent years). Well, have you seen Taylor Hanson lately? Gross! He has a mustache! Not like he just has facial hair... he has a creepy-man mustache. It's disgusting. Time has been good to Isaac, though.

Puppies!

So, I'm sure you've heard that the Obama girls are going to get a puppy! That's so exciting! You know where is a great place to find a puppy in need? Animal Shelters across the country! Give a puppy HOPE! Sign THIS!

A Public Service Announcement

Notice: Leggings are not and should never be substituted for pants.

You have been warned.

Don't let it happen again.

Yet Another Break-Up Notice

Dear Perez,

It's not you--well, wait. Actually, it is. You've gotten a little too political for me in the last few weeks over this whole Prop 8 deal. The insane Mormon-bashing is what really pushed us over the edge. 2%: That's the population of LDS people in California. It is ridiculous to say so many hateful things about one religion when so many (both religious and not) contributed to this cause. Catholics, Evangelicals, Protestants, Orthodox Jews, and Muslims all supported Yes on 8. Do you dare to pick fights with a huge percentage of the American population? Your biggest issue with Proposition 8 is that you find it hateful. Really, it's no more (and maybe even less) hateful than the words I am reading on your page lately. We live in a democracy. The issue was put to a vote of the people and passed 52%-47%. By the way, did I mention that Mormons only make up 2% of California's population?

I guess I've seen this coming for a while but refused to admit it. I'm sorry it has to end this way... I really am. I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors.

With Love,
Kathleen

Stealing ≠ Posh

So the other day I was shopping and picked up a sample size of "Intimately Beckham." I love love Vicki B. So the next morning I put on a spray as I was leaving. "Hmm.. this smells familiar," I thought. I was halfway to school before I realized why....

=

Now, now, Posh Spice... did you really think I wouldn't notice?

A New/Old Obsession

I love my XM radio because it reminds me of songs and bands that I like. The Pink Channel (the channel with a cause--xm 24 haha) plays a really random mix of 90s songs. I recently programmed it into my favs. I realized that I love the Gin Blossoms. I feel a little like a middle-aged woman admitting that. It's one of those things where you hear a song and you go, "I LOVE this song!" but you never really think about who sings it? I've put some Gin Blossoms songs on my playlist. Just when you thought it couldn't get more random. Enjoy!

Oh, Boy!

Last night I wondered if it was too early to start printing the "It's not my fault; I voted for McCain!" bumper stickers... and then by the time I woke up, I had a few invitations to join that Facebook group in my inbox. So, I guess that answers that question.

This is what I wanted the headlines to read this morning:

Obama Wins!
Romney Organizes Exploratory Committee for 2012

Politically, things just aren't going my way. I firmly believe that someday the Obama supporters will regret their decision in a way that I almost regret my support of David Cook for American Idol '08. They'll look back and realize that McCain was the right choice much like I am thinking I should have voted for Archie. Have you heard David Cook's new song? I put it in my playlist in the bottom right-hand corner. You know what, I'll also put Archie's single over there for those of you who have been living under a rock and haven't heard it yet. If you end up not being able to stomach "Light On," but putting "Crush" on repeat--you are not alone.

Archie- 1, Cook- 0.

I Voted Today.

Another friendly reminder: today is election day!

I know we're all terribly tired of this election season, but please make sure you go out and VOTE!

If for no other reason, do it because you can!

XOXO

Expensive and High Maintenance? Me?

I stole this quiz from Snotface's blog! Enjoy!

I'm a Ferrari 360 Modena!

You've got it all. Power, passion, precision, and style. You're sensuous, exotic, and temperamental. Sure, you're expensive and high-maintenance, but you're worth it.

"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Trick-or-Treat!

When I was little, I loved trick-or-treating! My mom would always come up with these creative costume ideas. One time, my sister was a cloud. It was adorable... until we started walking around the neighborhood and she started losing her fluff! I kindergarten, I was a witch... and my mom let me wear make up! My dad had a fit, but I thought I was soooo cool! Years later, I was Pebbles Flintstone. My mom made my costume and my crazy red hair was in this awesome high ponytail. Whatever I decided to be, my halloween costumes always had one thing in common: they were all appropriate. (not only for my age, but also in general.)

The following is a real conversation (I wish I could make this stuff up!):

Teenagers ring doorbell
STEVE: What do you say??
TEENS: Trick-or-Treat!
Steve passes out candy
MISS AMERICA: Thank you!
STEVE: You're welcome! (to other girl, who is dressed all in black) What are you dressed up as?
OTHER GIRL: A Black Panther!
STEVE: Oh, that's... niice...

Exclamation Point!

If I were to describe the contents of my grocery cart on any given trip, I would say it's usually "Single-Chick Food." Well, I have found the ultimate product for that category and I can't decide if I am excited or slightly insulted. The Jolly Green Giant makes veggies "Just For One (Exclamation Point)." The "One" underlined and the exclamation point really sell the product, if you ask me. Really, is there no better name for this product? "Veggie Singles?" No, you're right... that might actually be worse. Ooh, how about "Congrats, You're Making Dinner by Yourself Again (Exclamation Point)" Thoughts?