Overheard....

I wish I could make this stuff up.....

GIRL 1: You've been here, haven't you?
GIRL 2: Wait, where?
G1: You know, that one place with the faces... in the big rock?
G2: What?
G1: Here... this... (holds up picture on magazine)
G2: Oh... nope.
G1: I thought you went to that state?
G2: Montana? No.
ME: That's South Dakota.
G2: Oh... haha... I've never been there either!

The One Place with the Faces in the Big Rock:

Don't Judge Me.

I joined Twitter today. I know, I know... like I need one more thing to distract me. Since Facebook totally messed up the Friends page, I feel like I need Twitter to fill the void in my life. I do not ever intend to "tweet," but I am super-nosy.

I am currently following 5 people. 4 real people & Ashlee Simpson-Wentz. Please send me your name or suggestions for more people to follow. Also, if it's a celeb and you know which one is really them, that would be super-helpful.

Story Time.

Yesterday I probably did the worst thing I've ever done in my life:

I STOLE AN ICY DRINK

I've had a pretty boring life, I know. Steve said it's not actually stealing because I didn't mean to do it, but still... I took it without paying!!

I took my wedding dress to the seamstress that my mom wants me to use... who is about an hour away. My mom called as I was headed back. Right before I got on the interstate, I stopped at the gas station. I walked in, poured myself a nice icy drink, got back in my car and drove away. One hour away. I stopped at Target on my way home. As I was walking around, I thought to myself, "I'm really thirsty! But I have got to stop spending so much $$ on icy drinks when I have tons of DC at home" (Thanks to Giant Eagle... 3 for $9 this week) Then I thought about it and realized I didn't even pay for the one that I just finished!! I was walking around with a stolen drink!! I felt terrible, but there's no way I'm going to drive 2 hours out of my way to pay $1.39, so I quickly texted Google to get the phone number. (What did I ever do without Google?) I called the gas station and asked if they could take a credit card over the phone. The man was not happy with me and told me that he could not. He then said "are you here often?" and I said "I try not to be..." and he said, "will you be back soon?" and I said "possibly next week, but I don't know for sure." So then he said, "just pay for it next time you're here." and I said "Thank you! I'm so sorry!" and he hung up the phone.

Oops. I really hope they don't have my picture hanging in there.

G-R-E... umm... A?

It's late. Maybe I'm just tired, but this is funny:

U.S. v. Brown, 500 F.3d 48

Pg. 52: "By prearrangement, two Portland police cruisers converged on the truck a short distance from the bus terminal. Officer Bickford directed the passenger to disembark, frisked him, and asked for his name and date of birth. The passenger identified himself as Anthony Green, gave a date of birth, and claimed to be from Boston. He appeared older than the proffered date of birth suggested. Moreover, he professed to have no identification and, when asked how to spell his name, he hesitated."

Oh, don't worry... it doesn't end there! A few paragraphs later...

"The officers... asserted that throughout this exchange Green was constantly looking around, as if looking for a way to escape. When asked a second time for identification, he tried to peer into Bickford's notebook, as if trying to recollect the name that he had given."

BREAKING NEWS!

Paris Hilton Insists She's Not Stupid.

Telling people that you're not stupid is kind of the equivalent of telling people you're funny, in my book. If it is true, you don't have to announce it. Except in this news story she insists that she has created this "dumb" character that is not at all similar to her actual personality.

So now she's expecting us to believe
that she's smart AND a good actress??
Riiiiiiiiiiiight....

Gee, Thanks!

So in my never-ending quest to try to figure out what's going on in the law, I decided to do a little extra reading on "Proximate Cause." My professor has 2 books on reserve. The first one only confused me more. Not helpful. The second one is written more for my level of reading comprehension. I was all set to learn more... until I got to the second paragraph:

A great deal of confusion persists about what the term "proximate cause" is meant to convey. Students find this very frustrating: Justifiably, you would like some answers, some solid ground on which to base an understanding of a difficult concept. Frankly, so would I; I have done my homework on this problem, read a lot of heady articles, sorted through the cases, but if I ever thought I could settle this problem, in my own mind or in yours, I was wrong.

Wow... that was helpful. Do you think I could write that on my exam?

Ooh, one of my weird FB friends had a cool idea on his status the other day. Grab the book closest to you, turn to page 56, and read the 5th full sentence on the page. Leave it as a comment!!
Mine: "Here, Hulk, for his own macho reasons, has invited his friends to try to knock him over."

UPDATE: Oh my gosh... how funny that Seriously, So Blessed had the same thing today. Embarrassing!

Warning!

Why You Should Never Try to Steal a Law Student's Laptop

by Dan Reilly, posted Nov 14th 2008 at 2:41PM

A thief learned the mistake of trying to steal a law student's laptop last week after becoming a punching bag for an Arizona State student he tried to rip off. Armed with a baseball bat, the intruder, Gabriel Saucedo, allegedly climbed through an open window into Alex Botsios' apartment, waking the student and threatening to smash his head in.

Botsios was willing to let Saucedo take his wallet and guitars. Then the robber made the mistake that ultimately landed him in the hospital -- he went for the laptop. According to Botsios, he said "Dude, no -- please, no! I have all my case notes...that's four months of work!" Saucedo, obviously underestimating the fury of an overstressed, overworked first-year, was unsympathetic. That's when Botsios could take no more.

Wrestling Saucdeo to the floor, Botsios separated the bat from the thief and repeatedly punched him in the face. When it was all over, police had to get Saucedo stitched up before charging him with armed robbery and kidnapping, while Botsios only suffered some scrapes and a bruised knuckle. Most importantly, at least to the student, is that his laptop, which he called "his baby," escaped unharmed. Next time, Saucedo might want to try robbing a third-year student, as they're generally more docile.

Thanks to Dom for sending me this story! Don't try to steal my laptop. You've been warned.

Yet Another Break-Up Notice

Dear Perez,

It's not you--well, wait. Actually, it is. You've gotten a little too political for me in the last few weeks over this whole Prop 8 deal. The insane Mormon-bashing is what really pushed us over the edge. 2%: That's the population of LDS people in California. It is ridiculous to say so many hateful things about one religion when so many (both religious and not) contributed to this cause. Catholics, Evangelicals, Protestants, Orthodox Jews, and Muslims all supported Yes on 8. Do you dare to pick fights with a huge percentage of the American population? Your biggest issue with Proposition 8 is that you find it hateful. Really, it's no more (and maybe even less) hateful than the words I am reading on your page lately. We live in a democracy. The issue was put to a vote of the people and passed 52%-47%. By the way, did I mention that Mormons only make up 2% of California's population?

I guess I've seen this coming for a while but refused to admit it. I'm sorry it has to end this way... I really am. I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors.

With Love,
Kathleen

Never a Good Idea. Ever.

Every once in a while, I get this crazy thought when I'm walking through the grocery store. I think "Hmm... grocery store sushi would be a good idea for dinner tonight!" So I buy the grocery store sushi... and it's always the same. I just hope I don't actually DIE from it at some point. I had 3 pieces and I already think I'm sick. See, in AZ, I got sushi at the grocery store all the time and it was fabulous... but it was not your average grocery store. Think Whole Foods, but more posh and less healthy. They also had several full-time sushi chefs at that grocery store. It was always made to order and always fresh. Giant Eagle just has a different system. Someone, please: Next time I mention that I'm going grocery shopping, remind me that sushi was not meant to be made by Giant Eagle. Thanks.

A New Low.

Creepy [kree-pee]; adjective.
1. Slang. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is a creep; obnoxious; weird.
See Also: Kathleen.

Let me tell you the predicament in which I currently find myself. So, over the last month or so, I have made a lot of new friends. A LOT. Many of which I talk to on a fairly regular basis. Then there are those that I talk to almost daily (at least in passing) whose names I do not remember. This is a strange twist in the plot because I am usually the creepy girl who remembers everyone. So, instead of using names in these situations, I either say "Hey, You!" or I avoid it altogether. The other day I even said, "We should be Facebook friends! It's K-A-T-H-L-E-E-N! Add me!" And voila, I now know her name! Well, tonight I hit a new low in my quest to find out names. While I was looking for a classmate's email address, I came upon this handy photo student directory! Well, I went through all 20 pages. I paid special attention to the number of cute boys that I have not met (I'm going to need to fix that). I got through all 20 pages.... and I still do not know the names of the people I was actually looking for! Oh well, better luck next time!

Break-Up Notice.

I hope nobody out there is about to break up with my blog because of the insane amount of political posts lately, but I have a bone to pick with MTV.

First, I was promised a performance by Miss Britney and all I got was a video clip and then her saying "Welcome to the VMAs." Lame.

Second, I don't even know the name of the host (that's how unimportant he is in my book), but I was very offended by his opening monologue. Everyone is entitled to their own political opinions, but he's not even American. I am offended that he would not only talk badly about our president (for whom I proudly voted and would again), but also that in doing so he basically insulted the American people. THEN he started making fun of Palin's pregnant daughter and her boyfriend. I believe he said something about that being the biggest PSA for safe sex--make sure it's safe because if she ends up pregnant, you have to become a Republican? THEN he was making fun of the Jonas Brothers for their commitment to remain virgins until they're married. He was just insanely rude. It was uncalled for. I had enough and turned off the TV after 10 minutes.

So, MTV. We're breaking up. It's been a long road. We've had some good times. We first met while you were playing "No Rain" by Blind Melon. I remember sneaking to see you with my finger on the "last channel" button at age 7... terrified that my mom was going to walk into the room at any moment. I remember voting for *NSYNC on TRL (back when it was good). We've made a lot of memories over the years, but I'm afraid it's over. For real. No exceptions. (PS-Someone's going to have to fill me in on The Hills tomorrow).

XOXO

Sometimes I Amaze Myself.

I am awesome. Let me tell you why:

I have had my driver's license for almost 6 years now. Until the other day, I never caused damage to anything with a car. Yup, you caught that I said "Until the other day..." Good job. Let me tell you a short story about my first big car screw up.

Since I live too far to drive back-and-forth a bunch, I stayed in Columbus Monday afternoon so that I could go out Monday night. I test-drove cars, opened a bank account, and studied until it was time. So I meet up with some of my fellow students and we sit and talk and have a great time! Alas, it was time for me to start my journey home. I got home and hit the garage door opener like always... except this time, I was in a gigantic SUV instead of my usual Honda. I started in the garage when in slow motion, I thought, "Hmm... the garage door is still going up... am I going to clear it---" CRUNCH! The top of the car hit the bottom of the garage door and bent it all up. It was off the track and just kinda hanging out. I freaked! I'm responsible! I certainly don't crash into garage doors! I called my mom, who was understandably angry. Then I called my neighbor who helped me pull it shut for the night. I'm a genius. Before I even got home yesterday, some repair guys fixed it. They had to put a brace on it so that it would fit back on the track. I'm awaiting the estimate for a new bottom panel. I have moved through all of the phases of grief in the last few days. Right now I'm in a spot where I am just shaking my head and laughing in anger/amazement because there's nothing else I can do. I'm sure once the bill comes, I will no longer be laughing...