A New Low.

Creepy [kree-pee]; adjective.
1. Slang. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is a creep; obnoxious; weird.
See Also: Kathleen.

Let me tell you the predicament in which I currently find myself. So, over the last month or so, I have made a lot of new friends. A LOT. Many of which I talk to on a fairly regular basis. Then there are those that I talk to almost daily (at least in passing) whose names I do not remember. This is a strange twist in the plot because I am usually the creepy girl who remembers everyone. So, instead of using names in these situations, I either say "Hey, You!" or I avoid it altogether. The other day I even said, "We should be Facebook friends! It's K-A-T-H-L-E-E-N! Add me!" And voila, I now know her name! Well, tonight I hit a new low in my quest to find out names. While I was looking for a classmate's email address, I came upon this handy photo student directory! Well, I went through all 20 pages. I paid special attention to the number of cute boys that I have not met (I'm going to need to fix that). I got through all 20 pages.... and I still do not know the names of the people I was actually looking for! Oh well, better luck next time!

Umm....

Ok, a few things this lovely Sabbath morning. This post might actually break my "Never too long. Always one subject" rules. Hey, I made them, so I can break them, I guess?

1. I've seen some funny videos on Perez lately. This one made me laugh because it's just a little awkward. Don't get me wrong... I love Martha Stewart and I love LUDA!, but I'm just not so sure that I ever expected to see them... together? Watch and enjoy.

A few questions:

• Why is Luda on the Martha Stewart show?
• Oragami? Do people actually do that for real? Are they 5th grade girls?
• Wait... Luda on Martha Stewart? Really?
  

2. While walking down a rather famous road in search of food, a few funny things happened.
First:

HOMELESS DUDE (HD): That's a nice tie, brotha!
BOY: Thanks!
HD: Can I touch it? What's that made of?
BOY: Umm.. sure. It's just a tie.
HD: It's nice. How are you, young lady?
ME: I'm great! How are you?
HD: I'm great, too! I like your skirt!
ME: Thanks!
HD: You wear it well!
ME: ...thank you!

Second: The Obama camp is shamelessly trying to gather votes with concerts instead of issues. Are you shocked? I was! So yesterday they had a huge voter registration drive and were reminding everyone that Bruce Springsteen is playing on campus today. My friend and I walked up and down the Obama-ist part of the street and did not get stopped once or asked if we were registered to vote.

BOY: Did you notice that we have not been asked if we're registered to vote?
GIRL: Yes!
BOY: Do you know why?
GIRL: Do we look like we would vote for Obama? Really?
BOY: EXACTLY!

I hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend! I hope you're enjoying Conference! XOXO

Classy!

A few months ago I got a letter in the mail explaining that I was eligible to be part of a class action lawsuit. I think class action suits are ridiculous and since the company didn't hurt me any, I just threw away the notice.

This week, I got a check for $58 in the mail as a result of the lawsuit. I'm a poor law student, so you might as well have told me that someone gave me a million bucks! Cha-ching!

Any suggestions on how I could (notice, I didn't say "should") spend it??

Oh, Come On!

I don't want to call anyone out for being a little silly, so instead, I will leave out names to protect the innocent (or naive).

BOY: I'll get your drink!

GIRL: Really? Thanks!

BOY: Yeah, I'll get drinks tonight and you can get breakfast tomorrow!

GIRL: Yeah, call me tomorrow morning! We can totally hang out!

BOY: Umm...

(four days later...)

GIRL: (retells previous conversation)

ME: He said what?

GIRL: Yeah, isn't that nice?

ME: Umm.. no.

GIRL: Oh... OOOOOHHHH! Is THAT what he meant?!?!

Investment Opportunity

Dear Madam Speaker,

Invest in a dictionary.

Love,
Kathleen

So I finally got around to listening to the speech Pelosi gave right before the big House vote on Monday. When talking about the Great Depression she said (somewhere around the 2 min mark):

...the Great Depression. I don't know what was so great about it. It was pretty lousy. I don't know why they called it great!

Umm...... I don't think they were using "Great" as a synonym for "Fabulous" or "Awesome" here. In fact, there are several definitions of the word "Great," and any number of the following could be the actual meaning in the context of the Great Depression:

1. unusually or comparatively large in size or dimensions
2. unusual or considerable in degree, power, intensity, etc.
3. being such in an extreme or notable degree
4. important; highly significant or consequential
5. distinguished; famous
6. of considerable duration or length

(definitions from dictionary.com)

Love At First.... Text?

Yesterday I got a text from my sister. All it said was:

I found your eternal companion. This guy in my math class just walked in with a tube of Ritz crackers and he's just eating them.

I couldn't help but feel as if she was mocking me. I have been known to sit down with a tube of Ritz crackers on occasion. Apparently this is weird?

Do you love snacks that other people find odd? Discuss.

Notes & Comments

Contracts is my least favorite class. The professor is great. The subject matter is lame. Note to self, though: Next time you wonder whether a contract is legally binding or not, just ask yourself two questions:

• Is the promisee poor?

• Is the promisee stupid?

If you have answered "Yes" to either of those questions, the contract is most likely unenforceable.

There you have it. All you will ever need to know about contracts.

You're welcome.

You Know You're Tired When You....

• run the top of the car into the garage door.
  
• don't even remember hearing your alarm go off (when you wake up 2 hours late).
• look like you have 2 black eyes.
  
• put your undershirt on inside-out.
• put nail polish remover on a cotton ball and then attempt to take off your eye makeup.
• get confused/scared when the phone rings.
• sleep on the floor for 3 weeks like it's no big deal.

And it's not even October.

Hollywood: Not America

See more Sarah Silverman videos at Funny or Die

I love celebrities. I love politics. I do not love when these two worlds interact unnecessarily. Celebrities think that we want to know how they feel about the "issues." We don't.

Sarah Silverman does point out some interesting similarities between her grandparents and Barack Obama, though!

Funny, but inappropriate. I neither approve of nor endorse this type of language. You've been warned.

DISCLAIMER: I can not be held responsible for termination or social shunning that may occur as a result of your watching this video in inappropriate locations. Don't be a douche.

It's Thursday!

Yesterday I was running for the elevator. It was clear that I was going to have to potentially sacrifice a limb in order to get it to stop. I started to put my hand out, but then I noticed I was holding an icy DC with that hand. Instead I stuck my foot/ankle in the door. Clearly they are not as important as my DC.