How to Make People Feel Bad for Begging:

I had to run to the drug store unexpectedly last night. When it was my turn to pay, I realized that I didn't have my debit card!! Instead, all I had was a check! I asked the pharmacist (who was checking me out because they were busy) if I could write a check. He said, "Umm.. sure. $1."

I wrote a check for $1. How embarrassing is it that I didn't even have enough change to pay $1?!

But it gets better... I was in a shady part of town and when I was getting back into my car, a shady-looking man asked me if I had $1 so he could catch the last bus of the night. I said, "I have no cash, I'm sorry." And he said, "Ma'am, I only need $1." And I said, "Sir, I just wrote a check for $1. I seriously have no cash." And he said "Oh. Sorry to bother you."

I felt bad, so I got in my car and dug around for some change. I found about $1.50 for him.

But if you ever want someone to stop pestering you for money, tell them you had to write a check for $1. Apparently that's pathetic enough to make them feel bad for asking you for money.

Some Thoughts on Miss Universe

1. Worst Spanish translator ever. He is seriously terrible. He made the girls sound like idiots. They couldn't find a better translator?

2. Why does the (male) host keep commenting on how "devilishly handsome" Dean Cain is?

3. Love Kosovo's dress.

4. Australia is adorable.

5. Why am I watching this?

Update: Way to go, Venezuela. You may have a sucky, corrupt government, but at least you have Miss Universe (still).

All I Want is a Stupid Candle.

A few years ago, I laughed at one of my friends when I found out that he wrote to Quaker when he could not find the Oatmeal-to-Go in the Apple flavor.

Today, my friends, I must admit that I just wrote my first ever product complaint email.

The subject: The Fragrance Collection Candles by Glade (specifically the 2-oz candle)

The problem: I have a coupon that came in my Sunday paper for a free 2-oz candle available "wherever Glade products are sold."

and
I'm not entirely sure that the 2-oz candle exists...
...because it is not available anywhere that Glade products are sold...
...not at Target, not at WalMart, not at Giant Eagle, not at CVS...
...and I'm pretty sure that I've wasted enough time and gas over this stupid candle that I could have purchased the 5-oz candle.

The solution: An email detailing my brand loyalty and current disappointment.

The response (hopefully): A coupon that I can actually use, please?

Update: I got my response today. The response was that the candle is very popular due to the coupon, but surely I will find one before the October expiration date. Also, maybe I should call ahead to void unnecessary driving. (As a retail clerk, I can tell you that there is nothing worse than a person calling to see if you carry something... don't be lazy, people). Considering the stores that I've checked have not even had a freaking shelf-tag for it, I am still not convinced that it exists. Screw you, Glade. Yeah, I said it.

Dream Shopping

A few nights ago, Steve and I went to the mall to eat at Five Guys (which we both agreed was good, but not anything that we'd ever think, "Oooh, let's go there!"). After dinner, Steve was such a sport and walked around with me while I "Dream Shopped." You know... when you drool over things that you can't afford... and things that you probably wouldn't buy even if you could afford it because you can probably find it nicer for less elsewhere. We went to this neat store called West Elm.... then we went to Williams Sonoma (more for Steve... I'll never understand why anyone needs a thousand-dollar pots & pans set)... then to Pottery Barn... and Restoration Hardware.

I'll admit it... I had a lot of fun "Dream Shopping," and hoping that it's really "Someday Shopping." I'm not the only person who does this, right?

Where do you like to Dream Shop?

Oh, I Thought You Meant Like a Plumber...

Do you ever have one of those "when did THAT happen?" Buster Bluth moments?

Lately, my BB moments have occurred while eating lunch.

From the time that I was old enough to realize that McDonald's was nasty, I wouldn't eat there without protesting. I always preferred Wendy's.

Now, something strange has happened. McDonald's is actually good.... really good. To make things weirder, I am actually now disappointed every time I eat Wendy's. I now find myself asking, "why didn't I go to McDonald's?"

"I was like, when did THAT happen?!" Steve says that McDonald's started to get better with the "I'm Lovin' It" campaign. I couldn't tell you because I wasn't lured to McDonald's again until they started selling $1 sodas last summer. But I can tell you that Wendy's sure has gone downhill since Dave Thomas died.

Finally, Someone Said It.

My Facebook newsfeed is being abused. More often than not, it's full of people I haven't talked to since high school, and they're usually complaining about something stupid. Why do I keep them around? Well, sometimes it's down-right entertaining (____ hopes her hubby don't go 2 jail 2-morrow).

One of my Facebook friends posted a CNN article entitled "The 12 Most Annoying Types of Facebookers." So, which one are you?:

The Let-Me-Tell-You-Every-Detail-of-My-Day Bore

The Self-Promoter

The Friend-Padder

The Town Crier

The TMIer

The Bad Grammarian

The Sympathy-Baiter

The Lurker

The Crank

The Paparazzo

The Maddening Obscurist

The Chronic Inviter

You know them all. Not sure which one you are? There's even a quiz. I took it and it basically told me I'm cool... like I didn't already know that! Ha! It's worth taking a few minutes to read. Hilarious.

XOXO

My Life According to Brit-Brit

(This picture is from the Glory Days and in no way represents Ms. Spears now)

I've been super-slacking lately, I know. Now I'm super-klepto, too. I borrowed this fun little list from Molly's facebook page.

What you do is pick one artist and answer the questions entirely in their song titles. Since Molly already chose John Mayer, I picked Britney Spears. Let's see if this works out well... haha.

Are you a male or female?
Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Describe yourself:
Outrageous (hahaha)

How do you feel:
Lucky

Describe where you currently live:
Don't Go Knockin' on My Door
(seriously, though... it kind of scares me when I'm home alone and someone knocks...)

If you could go anywhere where would you go?
Where Are You Now

Your favorite form of transportation:
That's Where You Take Me

Your best friend is:
Bombastic Love

What's the weather like:
What U See (Is What U Get)

Favorite time of day:
One Kiss from You

If your life was a TV show, it would be called:
My Prerogative

What is life to you:
Anticipating

Your fear:
Kill the Lights
(I'm kinda afraid of the dark)

What is the best advice you have to give:
Do Somethin'

Thought for the Day:
The Beat Goes On

My motto:
I've Just Begun (Having My Fun)

Just Wondering...

...has anyone else noticed that Nicole Richie has been pregnant for what seems like an unnaturally long time?

I mean... it's been a really, really long time.

That kid is going to be 15lbs by the time it's born.

A List.

I stole this idea from my friend Jordan... it's kinda fun...

SIX THINGS THAT EVERYONE LOVES--EXCEPT ME

1. Twilight

I've never seen the movie or read a single book. Maybe I'll get around to it someday, but I have never really been into the sci-fi/fantasy stuff. When I watch movies like that, all I can think is, "yeah frickin right."

2. Chinese Food

I don't like Chinese food or anything like it (Thai included). For some reason, it just doesn't feel like my body can digest it. It just sits in the bottom of my stomach and makes me feel disgusting. I don't like the taste of it, either... but I mostly don't like it because of the way it makes me feel.

3. Mexican Food

Keeping with the food category, I do not like Mexican food, either. For some reason, corn tortillas make my stomach hurt. Once, I got tricked into eating "awesome" Mexican food by one of my friend's boyfriends... and I thought I was going to vomit every time I smelled food for the next 3 days. That's happened every time I've had actual Mexican food. I love Taco Bell's regular tacos... and I also love chips and salsa... but that doesn't count as Mexican.

4. Soccer

I don't get why people would want to watch men run up and down the field for 90 minutes hoping that this will be the game where something exciting happens. It won't. Plus, I don't really understand the rules and I think most soccer fans are tools. Yeah... I said it.

5. Scary Movies

Once, I went to see "The Others" with my friends Libbi and Walpole, and I had to have Libbi's parents take me home early. That's right, folks: I left the movie early because I was terrified. Another time, after a group of people watched "What Lies Beneath," I had to have a friend spend the night because my parents were out of town and I was scared to go home alone. It's mostly ghost movies that get me... I'm not afraid of scary movies when it's people being scary at all. I can pepper spray a serial killer.... I can't pepper spray an evil ghost.

6. Swimming

I love a good water park; I love a relaxing day floating on the pool and working on my "tan" (see also: freckles). I never learned how to actually swim, so when it comes to just hanging out and swimming in a pool with a million other people, I don't enjoy it. Even worse is when I give in a decide to go to the pool and someone gets my hair wet.

6.5: Getting my hair and face wet in the pool when I am neither at a water park nor floating on a raft.

I Can Hardly Wait.!

Are you as excited as I am?????