See? I Write Letters.

Dear Television Executives (especially you, Ryan Seacrest),

We all like to watch Ryan Lochte swim.  (USA! USA!)  More importantly, there is only one thing that we don't want to see Ryan Lochte do: talk.  Seriously.  He's an idiot.  This new reality show is a bad, bad idea and you are ruining the 2016 Olympics for me.

So please, cancel this show before it starts.

Thanks,

K

Dear Ryan Lochte,

We all enjoy watching you swim (much to our husbands' dismay).  As a woman, I can tell you:  if you ever want to attract a female ever again, BEG Ryan Seacrest to can your show.  "Jeah!" is not a real word and does not belong in an adult's vocabulary.

"Dancing with the Stars" would be a much better fit for you.  Stay away from anything that requires you to talk.

You're Welcome,

K